Dear family, friends and friendly strangers who have been like family to me,
I found out recently that I had some financial difficulties back home, so I had to cut my adventures short.
Of course, you’re still going to get your last post and perhaps the most epic post of all- Paris, France- March 9th, 2009.
The morning of March 9th, I left my hostel almost immediately to visit the Louvre.
And so: it’s that time again! Well… it’s actually the first time it’s been that time and sadly the only time it will be that time, but the time has come and it’s that time now! It’s art analysis time!
The first piece of art I will analyze is this painting of John the Baptist by Leonardo da Vinci.
So, heeeeere’s Johnny! Sitting shirtless by a tree. But wait… what’s this? He’s pointing! He’s pointing at something! Oh, DaVinci, you never cease to leave mysteries in your works. But what is the solution to this mystery? What’s at the end of the wild goose chase you’re about to send me on?
There! There it is! John the Baptist was pointing at… another pointing DaVinci! Hmmm…
At this point, I felt gypped. DaVinci had sent me on a quest to find the ceiling. And it wasn’t even a good ceiling compared to most of the ceilings at the Louvre.
Alright, so that second one wasn’t so great, but you get the picture.
Pretty soon, I ran into the Mona Lisa, or, well, I came within about 15 feet from her… the security doesn’t let you get much closer than that. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to save that fake moustache for another famous piece of art.
FOUR SECURITY GUARDS keeping me away from ONE RUDDY PAINTING! They’re pretty serious about making sure nobody gives her a moustache. They even have “no sneaking” signs!
At least I got a decent picture…
The next painting, Delacroix’s Liberty Leading The People, is pretty great, but that young traveling Asian wouldn’t get out of my way. Move, young traveling Asian! I’m attempting photography here!
This painting was particularly strange…
There’s Jesus being crucified, that’s pretty typical… but what is that in the background? Is that an alien spaceship?
And these guys… let me guess. The one guy is saying to the other guy “OH SHIT. GOD’S WRATH! We sure fucked up on this one!”
Here’s a nice picture of a pretty redheaded girl.
Or, I thought it was a picture of a pretty redheaded girl until I read the caption… something along the lines of “David after slaying Goliath.” I wasn’t sure exactly what to think at that point. So I moved along.
I found this metapainting of a gallery of paintings.
And it’s twin!
A copy of a painting of paintings? No!!! Brings back bad memories from Don Quixote.
They had this famous painting of King Louis XIV.
Louis XIV was by far the most recognizable King of France. I’m not sure why though… perhaps it’s the nose. He had a very pronounced nose.
There was some pretty cool African art at the Louvre too, like this man in a dress.
And this porcupine of nails.
I never quite understood nudity in Western art. Heck, even African tribesmen covered up, if just barely.
And now, for my favorite piece of art in the entire museum:
The mysterious “this artwork has been moved” sign. Ooh, ahh, magnificent, eh?
After the Louvre, I had a few hours to kill and I did something I swore I would be the only visitor in Paris to NOT do. I went to the Eiffel Tower. The decision to go up was emotionally taxing, for I had already dismissed the Eiffel Tower as a tourist trap and a waste of money. I tried to minimize this loss by taking the stairs because the price was a bit lower than for the elevator.
I climbed and climbed and climbed. It took quite some time to reach the top. But then, I finally arrived. That was when it started raining.
“Ahh! What a waste of money!” I thought. Soon, however, a miracle occurred that challenged my previously held viewpoints of the Eiffel Tower’s state as a useless tourist trap.
It was the most fantastic rainbow I had ever seen! It was as if I was being called by an angel or an alien or something, somebody out there was telling me… I had to reach the end of the rainbow.
So, I used the above photograph as a map and began my journey to the end of the rainbow. It actually wasn’t too far.
And what did I find at the end of the rainbow?
The police.
More police.
In fact, there was a long line of police. It was as if they were looking for whatever I was looking for.
I also found a glove,
a souvenir shop,
dirty magazines,
and a broken vending machine.
But when I found what was REALLY waiting for me at the end of the rainbow, I knew. I knew I had found not only what I had been looking for at the end of the rainbow, but what I had been looking for my entire life.
I FOUND WALDO.
Not long after my discovery, I was unfortunately informed that my money supply was quite a bit smaller than I thought it was and that I had some nasty bills waiting for me in the US, so I had no other choice but to leave. Thankfully, since then, The University of Missouri has granted me a ridiculous request and I’ll be getting a refund on a lot of the costs from last semester- to the effect of a few thousand dollars. I’m not sure when that money will be coming my way and I hope you forgive me if I don’t use it to run off traveling again quite yet…
I’d like you all to know though that this will not be the end of my blog. I’m not going to be traveling for a while, but someday, hopefully not TOO far from now, when I have the cash and the ambition, I’ll come back to this. I’ve always wanted to visit southeast Asia, so maybe after I’ve dealt with college costs and all of that nonsense, I’ll try to raise some money for my next adventure.
But for now, peace and love, friends and strangers. I hope you all have wonderful lives.
~Craig
