Final post… for now.

Dear family, friends and friendly strangers who have been like family to me,

I found out recently that I had some financial difficulties back home, so I had to cut my adventures short.
Of course, you’re still going to get your last post and perhaps the most epic post of all- Paris, France- March 9th, 2009.

The morning of March 9th, I left my hostel almost immediately to visit the Louvre.

And so: it’s that time again! Well… it’s actually the first time it’s been that time and sadly the only time it will be that time, but the time has come and it’s that time now! It’s art analysis time!
The first piece of art I will analyze is this painting of John the Baptist by Leonardo da Vinci.

So, heeeeere’s Johnny! Sitting shirtless by a tree. But wait… what’s this? He’s pointing! He’s pointing at something! Oh, DaVinci, you never cease to leave mysteries in your works. But what is the solution to this mystery? What’s at the end of the wild goose chase you’re about to send me on?

There! There it is! John the Baptist was pointing at… another pointing DaVinci! Hmmm…







At this point, I felt gypped. DaVinci had sent me on a quest to find the ceiling. And it wasn’t even a good ceiling compared to most of the ceilings at the Louvre.

Alright, so that second one wasn’t so great, but you get the picture.
Pretty soon, I ran into the Mona Lisa, or, well, I came within about 15 feet from her… the security doesn’t let you get much closer than that. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to save that fake moustache for another famous piece of art.



FOUR SECURITY GUARDS keeping me away from ONE RUDDY PAINTING! They’re pretty serious about making sure nobody gives her a moustache. They even have “no sneaking” signs!

At least I got a decent picture…

The next painting, Delacroix’s Liberty Leading The People, is pretty great, but that young traveling Asian wouldn’t get out of my way. Move, young traveling Asian! I’m attempting photography here!

This painting was particularly strange…

There’s Jesus being crucified, that’s pretty typical… but what is that in the background? Is that an alien spaceship?

And these guys… let me guess. The one guy is saying to the other guy “OH SHIT. GOD’S WRATH! We sure fucked up on this one!”

Here’s a nice picture of a pretty redheaded girl.

Or, I thought it was a picture of a pretty redheaded girl until I read the caption… something along the lines of “David after slaying Goliath.” I wasn’t sure exactly what to think at that point. So I moved along.
I found this metapainting of a gallery of paintings.

And it’s twin!
A copy of a painting of paintings? No!!! Brings back bad memories from Don Quixote.
They had this famous painting of King Louis XIV.

Louis XIV was by far the most recognizable King of France. I’m not sure why though… perhaps it’s the nose. He had a very pronounced nose.

There was some pretty cool African art at the Louvre too, like this man in a dress.

And this porcupine of nails.

I never quite understood nudity in Western art. Heck, even African tribesmen covered up, if just barely.

And now, for my favorite piece of art in the entire museum:

The mysterious “this artwork has been moved” sign. Ooh, ahh, magnificent, eh?

After the Louvre, I had a few hours to kill and I did something I swore I would be the only visitor in Paris to NOT do. I went to the Eiffel Tower. The decision to go up was emotionally taxing, for I had already dismissed the Eiffel Tower as a tourist trap and a waste of money. I tried to minimize this loss by taking the stairs because the price was a bit lower than for the elevator.

I climbed and climbed and climbed. It took quite some time to reach the top. But then, I finally arrived. That was when it started raining.

“Ahh! What a waste of money!” I thought. Soon, however, a miracle occurred that challenged my previously held viewpoints of the Eiffel Tower’s state as a useless tourist trap.

It was the most fantastic rainbow I had ever seen! It was as if I was being called by an angel or an alien or something, somebody out there was telling me… I had to reach the end of the rainbow.
So, I used the above photograph as a map and began my journey to the end of the rainbow. It actually wasn’t too far.
And what did I find at the end of the rainbow?
The police.

More police.

In fact, there was a long line of police. It was as if they were looking for whatever I was looking for.

I also found a glove,

a souvenir shop,

dirty magazines,

and a broken vending machine.

But when I found what was REALLY waiting for me at the end of the rainbow, I knew. I knew I had found not only what I had been looking for at the end of the rainbow, but what I had been looking for my entire life.

I FOUND WALDO.

Not long after my discovery, I was unfortunately informed that my money supply was quite a bit smaller than I thought it was and that I had some nasty bills waiting for me in the US, so I had no other choice but to leave. Thankfully, since then, The University of Missouri has granted me a ridiculous request and I’ll be getting a refund on a lot of the costs from last semester- to the effect of a few thousand dollars. I’m not sure when that money will be coming my way and I hope you forgive me if I don’t use it to run off traveling again quite yet…
I’d like you all to know though that this will not be the end of my blog. I’m not going to be traveling for a while, but someday, hopefully not TOO far from now, when I have the cash and the ambition, I’ll come back to this. I’ve always wanted to visit southeast Asia, so maybe after I’ve dealt with college costs and all of that nonsense, I’ll try to raise some money for my next adventure.
But for now, peace and love, friends and strangers. I hope you all have wonderful lives.

~Craig

Paris: March 8th, 2009

Dear Friends and Friendly Strangers-

I have news, big news, and really really big news.
The news: I am in Paris!

Yes, I do realize the picture is upside down. But I kind of like it that way, so I’m not flipping it over.
I arrived. I looked at my kingdom. I was finally there.

The big news: I saw a rainbow in Paris!
The really really big news: I ATE MY EMERGENCY REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUP. Yes, that delicious yet stale chocolaty, peanutbuttery treat that my younger self packed into my first aid kit for that moment when I needed nothing more in the world than a Reese’s. And now, it is gone, into my tummy.

Anyway.
Paris.
People play accordions here instead of guitars.

I haven’t done much in Paris yet, but you can expect my most amazing post yet by far from the Louvre tomorrow. This post was just a short update on everything.

~Craig

Lyon: March 7th, 2009

Dear Friends and Friendly Strangers-

Every time I walk by the Saône River in Lyon, my internal compass screams in anger for some reason. The flow of the river just puts me off and I’m not sure why. I’ve gone as far as to begin avoiding it because it just seems so strange and I’m not sure why. This is definitely a problem. I had to cross the Saône yesterday when I was looking for a good meal. I did not realize, however, that people in France do not eat dinner until about 9:00PM, so I had a bit of trouble finding food. I walked into this Bouchon Lyonnais on the opposite side of the Saône from where I’m staying, hoping for a good meal.

I sat down in the empty restaurant and after about five minutes, I realized something just wasn’t right. Soon, I was greeted by a very unpleasant French woman who shouted what I assumed to be the French equivalent of “Why are you in this restaurant? It is closed! Get out!”

My appetite would have to wait. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before I found a very nice street vendor selling crepes, so I bought one and sat down at a centrally located table in a Lyon square.

About halfway through my delicious crepe, a man came out of a building near my table and shouted something I translated as “These tables are for patrons of my fancy-schmancy restaurant only! Go away, common crepe-eater!” So I left and finished my crepe in disgust thinking about how rudely the French elite were treating a visitor to their country. I was hoping for a real, delicious meal and all I could get my hands on was this quite tasty, but clearly lower-class snack. Thankfully, not long afterward, I was finally able to find a restaurant that was not only open, but was one of the most authentic places in which I have ever eaten.

My breakfast the next morning was far more “French” and very tasty.

I find some of the French cuisine a bit unusual though…

While in Lyon, I’ve noticed something very interesting about French pop culture. It is exactly the same as American pop culture.

The café that I am currently reaping Wi-Fi from, like the rest of Lyon, has a strange obsession with American music. I find it odd that a place with such a small English-speaking population is so enamored by the catchy hooks of The Decemberists. Don’t get me wrong, The Decemberists are one of my favorite bands– I just find it strange when I hear so many of their songs played so often in a place that for the most part doesn’t speak English.

I’ve also found that French road signs are quite confusing. Not as confusing as London’s road signs, but far more confusing than America’s.

Apparently the boundaries of Paris and Roanne fall somewhere in between those two signs. That made me wonder if to get to Paris, I had to go through some sort of Platform 9 and 3/4 nonsense or climb down into a manhole or something.

This morning, I went to the Musée des Beaux-Arts de Lyon. It’s a pretty impressive place with lots of cool works of art- some of them familiar-

Some of them very unusual-

Actually, I was a bit surprised by how many creepy cherubs I saw.

One of the first parts of the Musée that I visited was the sculpture gallery. It was pretty awesome, but it seemed that some of the sculptures didn’t appreciate my photography.

It was a really impressive gallery. I wouldn’t suggest bringing your dog though- from what I saw, they tend to get bored.

The Musée des Beaux-Arts des Lyon has lots of cool old stuff in their antiquities gallery, like these mummies-

This ping pong paddle-

This frisbee-

Some religious caricatures-

A suit of armor with one very obvious weak point-

And an impressive tribute to 21st century French plumbing.

There was some evidence of a historical zombie invasion-

And a few things that just made me wonder…

The Musée was large, so thankfully they had a place where I could take a nap before I left.

While traveling through the second half of the museum, I found this familiar figure.

I also found this very unfamiliar figure. I like crayons.

There was a very pretty Monet in there somewhere too.

After I left the Musée des Beaux-Arts de Lyon, I… well, I came back here to this café to write my blog, so here I am.

I actually did some serious non-blog writing yesterday– I wrote about 10 pages for my second screenplay (which is more than I have done with it in a while)- so I’m actually making progress on some other important projects while I’m out here.

Well, I hope you’re all having a wonderful day!

Peace and love and all that good stuff to all of you.

~Craig

Lyon, France: March 5th, 2009

Dear friends and friendly strangers,

Before arriving safely in Lyon, I was having quite an uneventful day: woke up early, got on a plane- that’s really about it. After my plane landed, however, I was struck by some very intense culture shock… I was in a strange land where every female looked like a model and French fries were just called fries- not to mention very few people here speak fluent English and the majority of the ones who do speak some English speak it so badly that even when they’re trying to help, the best they can do is send you on a wild goose chase for whatever it is you were looking for (as if I’m not already on one), even if it was right across the street to begin with. Even the animals here speak in strange tongues that I can not understand. Thankfully, I know just enough French to get around… these two incredibly important phrases are enough to keep any American alive in France for an extended period of time: “Parlez-vous anglais?” (Do you speak English) and “Je voudraix en Quiche Lorraine.” (I would like a Quiche Lorraine.)

My plane actually landed in Grenoble, not Lyon– I had to take a train to get here. When I arrived at the train station, I was greeted by someone who seemed like they spoke enough English to help me get around and figure out where I was going, so I bought a ticket to Lyon for 15 Euros. So, I went up to my train and just as I was about to board, I was informed that I had not bought a train ticket at all, I had bought a bus ticket and my bus was leaving in less than a minute. After running down the street trying to catch my bus, I was finally able to board, but instead of taking me to the city, where I thought it was taking me to, it brought me to an outlying airport, where I had to take another bus to get into Lyon so I could meet with my CouchSurfing host (who I wound up being about an hour late to meet with.) Thankfully, this was the end of the misery, for I had finally found someone who could speak perfect English and who would give me a place to sleep and show me around Lyon. I found out that he’s very active in Lyon’s branch of the CouchSurfing project and he goes to a weekly meeting with several of the other hosts and surfers in town. He brought me to a small get-together with several interesting people from all around who were also involved in the project, then I went back to his apartment and got the sleep I so desperately needed.

When I awoke in the morning, Jelmer (my host) and I were off to see the interesting sites in Lyon.

One of the first things we saw was this statue of a guy holding a Mars bar. It was a really incredible testament to the delicacies of Lyon and the wonders of French chocolate… I think.
On our tour of Lyon, we visited many interesting and curious locations throughout the city, such as this portal to Hell.

As well as the Basilique Notre Dame de Fourvière.

The Basilica was one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited. It was NEARLY flawless.

We also visited the ruins of an Ancient Roman theatre within Lyon.

My first thought when I saw the ruins was “what an odd place to leave those very large leftover potatoes…”

But soon, I realized exactly where I was. I was visiting a colony of very small French-speaking Romans in Lyon.

So far, Lyon has really impressed me. There are so many interesting cultural trends that I never would have expected to see anywhere else. Even their stacks of rocks look fancy!

The only serious problem I’ve had with Lyon is the insect infestation. The bugs here are enormous!

I have had some trouble deciding where I should go next. Many people have given me really interesting suggestions and I would really love to be able to take every single one of them, but I just couldn’t decide all on my own…

Enter Zoltar’s mysterious French cousin.

Soon, I discovered the unfortunate truth… French Zoltar was no more than a scam! A ripoff!
He was merely a petty thief… a pickpocket! He took my two Euros and HE GAVE ME NO FORTUNE! AVOID FRENCH ZOLTAR AT ALL COSTS! He is a horrible, horrible person.

Anyway– I am done for today. I think I might write some fiction tonight, so keep an eye out if you’re interested, but otherwise, until next time.

~Craig

Final London Post: March 3rd, 2009

Dear friends and friendly strangers-

No trip to The United Kingdom is truly complete without a thorough analysis (at the very least) of the London punk scene. There is nothing that can be truly compared to the underground scene in this- the birthplace of punk. Punks here, however, are a bit different from those in the States. Upon wandering into a punk/goth store in Hoxton, I bore witness to hundreds of “hardcore” t-shirts like this one:

Yep. Barack Obama is a god of punk in the UK. Actually, the only figure I heard more of from the London punk scene was Bob Marley. Yeah, that’s right- Bob Marley… punk.

Graffiti here is a tad different from the graffiti in the US also. Although there are signs all over the place warning against posting graffiti, it appears that there actually some specified areas RESERVED for punks to post their art.

London graffiti has so many different interesting themes. Some of it attacks the mind with very specific emotions.

Some of it acts as advertisement for children’s television.

There is even some with the sole purpose to promote international travel blogging.

(Don’t worry, it’s on the designated wall.)

Actually, from what I saw, the London punk scene, for the most part, is incredibly tame compared to it’s American counterpart. Most punks here actually look quite fashionable and instead of darkness, they resonate a certain kind of cheer- a true love for their scene… plus the majority of them have really cute accents.

There is one more incredibly overwhelming aspect of London culture that I have not yet mentioned in my blog. Every time I step onto the Underground, I am immediately shocked by the incredibly large number of people reading tabloid newspapers. It seems like everyone and their mum is completely obsessed with the personal lives of British celebrities, as well as the latest newsworthy gossip. Because I noticed such a large population of tabloid-readers, I decided to take it upon myself to pick up a free paper that was being handed out at the Underground station. Thus began my first journey through a London tabloid.

At first glance, the tabloids here aren’t all that different from American tabloids… they’re all printed on paper and have words and pictures, just like you might expect. Their headlines are loaded with terrible puns just like the ones in American tabloids.

They’re full of creepy celebrities.

And they’re packed to the brim with some of the worst fashion news imaginable.

They contain gossip about people who probably don’t deserve to be in the news in the first place.

(I can’t believe that pervert was GERMAN! The nerve…)
It’s not until you find the more profane (but still punny) aspects of the tabloids when you realize how incredibly unusual they really are.

They even have an entire page dedicated to religious blasphemy.

Actually, to be completely honest, the tabloids here appear to cater more to visiting Americans than they do to the average Brit, despite their incredible circulation among locals. They even make their headlines easier for Americans to understand by using foreign and thus incorrect units of distance.

WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND, LONDON? THIS IS *YOUR* COUNTRY! Use your own measurement systems and stay away from American traditions! I can’t believe Londoners would have the nerve to steal miles per hour from the Americans, who clearly invented vector geometry. Gosh.

Well, I am off to Lyon tomorrow morning! I’ve had a really great time in London and am am extremely impressed by the amount of support I’ve received from my ever-growing reader base. Thanks for everything, friends and strangers and keep telling people about my blog! Peace and love– You’ll hear from me soon.

~Craig

Emerging Artist Live Music Review: The Asteroids Galaxy Tour at Cargo March 2nd, 2009

Hello friends and friendly strangers–

Today, I went to see The Asteroids Galaxy Tour at Cargo in Hoxton- one of the trendiest areas in London– however, this band is not merely trendy, but is setting a trend that I hope to see a lot more of in mainstream music. The Asteroids Galaxy Tour take everything one can’t help but love about the unbearably cheerful Danish pop that has sprung up throughout the decade and mix it with a shot of rhythm and blues and a pint of Danish lager, resulting in an impressively tasteful blend of melancholy, musicianship, and melody that could easily find itself getting stuck in one’s head without the bitter regret that usually comes from listening to similar bouncy space-cadet pop.

I uploaded a couple of their mp3s for you–
This one is called “The Sun Ain’t Shining No More”– it’s a great example of their talent in mixing pop and bluesy soul into a wonderfully eclectic and impressive track.

I also uploaded their song “Around the Bend”, which has made it’s way onto a television ad for the iPod Touch and is helping to gain The Asteroids Galaxy Tour a ton of new fans.

I definitely think I struck gold when I decided to go see The Asteroids Galaxy Tour and I hope you feel the same way when you discover them through my blog. Their fantastic debut album “Fruit” is being released this April and is expected to be a huge success.

Today was their last show in Europe before they leave on a US tour– you can catch them here:
Thursday, March 19 – SXSW, Austin, TX @ Windish Shocase at Emo’s Outdoors
Saturday, March 21 – SXSW, Austin, TX @ Chop Shop Showcase
Sunday, March 22 – New York, NY @ Le Poisson Rouge (LPR)
Tuesday, March 24 – Toronto, ONT @ Wrong Bar
Wednesday, March 25 – Chicago, IL @ Schubas
Friday, March 27 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Echo
Saturday, March 28 – San Francisco, CA – 330 Ritch
Monday, March 30th – San Diego – Casbah

Update on merch, etc.

Dear friends and friendly strangers,

I found out that on cafepress, only like 30% of the profits would actually go to help my blog and the rest would go to cafepress for making the shirts— just letting everyone know that if you want to buy a shirt, you’re better off waiting– There are some sweet designs headed to a local t-shirt printing shop in Columbia (that’s Columbia, Missouri if you’re not from there, which most of you aren’t at this point) and we should be getting a MUCH better merchandise shop up and running fairly soon.
If you want to help the cause, but don’t want to pay for a t-shirt, especially when only 30% of the money is actually going to help me continue my blog, you can donate a few bucks at my paypal page, which you can find in a couple of my older blog entries as well as in my facebook group (“Support Craig’s Blog as He Travels Around the World!”)
and make your OWN t-shirt with a pro-WhateverItIsI’mLookingFor message, so you can still help both financially and morally– the cooler your t-shirt designs the better and hopefully lots of people will ask you about them and you can tell them all about this blog.

Also, I’m going to do my first live music review for my blog tomorrow night. The lucky band is… The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, playing at Cargo in Hoxton. It should be a good night and I’ll enjoy helping to expose an up-and-coming band through my blog– I sent them an email and hopefully I should be able to post a couple free mp3s for you guys too.

Peace and love, everyone.

London Post 4: March 1st, 2009

Hello friends and strangers!

Today, I visited the British Museum: home to hundreds of victims of decapitation,

castration,

human sacrifice,

jet lag,

cannabis intoxication,

overexposure,

and illiteracy.

The British Museum contains thousands upon thousands of incredible artifacts from just about any place you could think of. As one might imagine, these objects were brought here by an eclectic bunch:
The living,

the dead,

the confused,

aliens,

Eskimos,

American football players,

visitors from another dimension,

and the devil himself.

I had a really amazing experience seeing all the incredible exhibits at the British Museum. When I left the museum, I felt like I truly had a little bit more knowledge about the world around me. I would suggest it to anybody who is visiting the UK and to those who aren’t visiting- feel free to live vicariously through me.

I’ve also noticed a few more interesting signs around London, like these ones-



and this one, which wouldn’t have stood out as unusual if it wasn’t for it’s location…

Anyway, I found those flowers that my fortune cookie told me to look for. It’s really beautiful here in the early springtime. I decided that since the cookie told me to give flowers to my friends, I’ll give these to you!

So far, London has been an absolutely wonderful place and I’ve discovered that the grass really is greener on the other side. I’m serious! Look at it! It’s so green!

Well… my camera doesn’t quite capture the intense greenness of the grass, but wow, you should see it!

I’ve finally gotten a merchandise store set up at http://www.cafepress.com/weiiilf
You can buy all sorts of great stuff to turn yourself into a walking advertisement for my blog IN STYLE! You can get t-shirts, mugs, stickers, teddy bears, even naughty underwear with a few special Whatever It Is I’m Looking For designs!

Well, I’m off for dinner! I hope everything is well- have a beautiful day!

~Craig

London Post 3: February 28, 2009

Dear friends and friendly strangers-

I’ve heard people call America a melting pot where lots of different cultures mix together and form one homogeneous mixture called “American Culture.” Well, if America is a melting pot, the the UK is a veritable beef stew with lots of meaty chunks and vegetables. The diversity here is absolutely amazing. Walking down the streets of London, I have heard at least 15 different languages spoken with pride: English, French, German, Spanish, Chinese, Swahili, Gibberish, Dutch, Croatian, Gobbledygook, Italian, Pig Latin, plus several that I didn’t even recognize.

On the streets of London, each of the hundreds of separate cultures stands out and every group operates at least a few storefronts and restaurants all over town. Yesterday, I took my chances at an Ethiopian restaurant (London has a remarkably large population of Ethiopians.) The food was alright… I guess I could get used to it if I had to… and the service was absolutely terrible. In fact, the service is terrible just about everywhere in London– it’s definitely not the kind of place to go if you’re looking for fast food, although they do have a few fast food restaurants that vary only slightly from their American counterparts.

The advertisements for food here are a bit different too.

I’m staying in a hostel for a couple nights because my couchsurfing host (an Indonesian guy who made some really fantastic food) was going on a business trip to Germany. It took quite some time to figure out where my hostel was– it’s kind of off the beaten path in a little corner of Greenwich. As if I wasn’t confused enough already, when I arrived at the hostel last night, I discovered that it is connected to a Rastafarian pub, which is everything I might have expected a Rastafarian pub to be minus the mysterious haze (no smoking indoors.) Despite the fact that I was the only American (the only Caucasian for that matter) in the place, the people were welcoming and the atmosphere was incredibly mellow and friendly with chilled out reggae that made me want to relax and enjoy life playing over the speakers. To get into the hostel, I had to speak to the incredibly friendly barkeep, who gave me a nice discount on my nights here because the computer messed up my booking. Once I actually got into the hostel in the back of the pub, the wonderful Jamaican atmosphere was gone and I was in a new place altogether.

The people in my room are incredibly friendly and the diversity is even more noticeable than on the streets of London during mid-day. Each person is from a different country and has a different accent, but they’ve all found this wonderful little place to relax after a long day. They were incredibly welcoming to me and I almost immediately felt like I was part of a nice little family of misfits and vagabonds from around the world.

I have to admit though– some of the culture in London is a bit questionable…

But hey, they cater to absolutely everyone here.

They make it very easy for travelers to fit in here, but you have to watch out for the exchange rate, especially when you’re going somewhere like the dollar and forty-two cent store. Those extra pence are killers.

I have decided on my next location, by the way– I found a cheap flight to the Lyon area in France- one of the oldest and most authentic parts of the entire country. I’ve already gotten tons of suggestions for my next journey after that, but I will always be accepting ideas from my readers on places to go– this is YOUR travel blog, not mine– I’m just the guy who delivers it to you

And at that, peace and love, friends and strangers– I hope you have a wonderful day! I love you all!

Soon, I’ll have t-shirts and other fancy merch available- I was thinking of doing a Shroopy design and an ENTER ZOLTAR design- so you’ll be able to help me out *and* have an awesome new shirt or mug or whatever at the same time.

~Craig

Letter from Shroopy

Hey everyone– This is Craig’s resident monster and mascot, The Shrooponodon! I am here to thank you for being so awesome and inviting Craig’s blog into your lives! Craig is going to be visiting lots of really cool places and with your help, he can show you the world! Well, I’m quite hungry for breakfast, so I’m going to have to go for now, but I’m going to ask you one thing: tell all your friends about Craig’s blog if you haven’t already and also invite them to join the facebook group entitled “Support Craig’s Blog As He Travels Around the World!” Every bit of help means a lot to Craig! I’m off to devour some souls and scare small children! Byebye!

WOOBLOOBLOOBLOOBLOOBLOO!!!
Love, Shroopy the Shrooponodon